This Lady's LIFE Mission Is To Teach Men How To Give Women Orgasms

Thank you, on behalf of women everywhere.
Talking about orgasms can be a difficult topic for both men and women to discuss with one another. But it's an important talk to have. One brave, anonymous blogger took it upon herself to create a space where women and men can begin to decode the mysteries behind orgasms.
How to Make Me Come produces essays surrounding real life stories about the writer's experience with orgasms. The anonymous creator of the blog talked to The Cut about her reasons for creating the blog, and the importance of discussing such a sensitive subject.
When coming up with the premise of the blog, the creator thought about the effects that speaking up about orgasms can have on women. She states, "If you can't voice what you want in a moment when you are excited, desired, and connecting with someone, then it's no wonder that you can't always voice what you want out in the world." 

As the project grew, she started to think about the ways in which we can feel confident and unafraid to take control in our daily lives. But behind closed doors, "in those private sexual moments that you can feel most afraid and stuck." Even worse, we can feel like a hypocrite.
Although this blog is immensely popular with women, men can appreciate it as well. For the creator, "This is a platform for women to express themselves (and hopefully have a clarifying, therapeutic experience in the process)." The raw personal essays can peak the curiosity of men, too.
One major lesson we can take away from How to Make Me Come is the fact that everyone experiences orgasms differently. Because of this, the personal essays may not share the same ideas on the ways in which we come. Each orgasmic experience is unique to the individual having one.
But the creator believes that "They all help us to see how particular both the sexual frustrations and fantasies are for each individual." Furthermore, this blog allows everyone to "approach the mystery of your partner's experience ... have a deep awareness and sense of empathy for the spectrum of possibilities, and then have an open communication about what you are both going through." 

For couples, this blog opens the door to much needed conversations about orgasms, so they can understand what makes them come together.

Diabetes Is Dominating Your Sex Life In The Worst Way

How diabetes can put a hurting on your sex life —​ NOT the kinky kind.
When blood sugar is high or, conversely, too low, a person with diabetes will have distortions, both, mentally and physically. When blood sugar levels return to normal and reality kicks us right between the eyes, what then? Every situation is different. There are ways to prevent these distortions from happening or managing them so less or no personal damage occurs during sex.
A few years back John was dating this beautiful woman, that he'd think about all day. When he was with her, excitement and delight filled him. But, something unexpected happened at the end of their sixth date. John always considered himself a virile man who could sustain an erection for hours on end, so erectile dysfunction was the furthest thing from his mind.

Well (with that said), you probably know what happened next, but let me move along and not belabor the point. This was an embarrassing and scary moment for John (as I imagine it is for all men) when he didn’t have an erection. Luckily, she was really cool about it.
The next day, they went out to dinner and shared a great chocolate lava cake. John adjusted his insulin and thought things were going great, but in the back of his mind he was still thinking about it and thus, very worried. They got back to his place and set the mood with scented candles, soft jazz in the background, and dim lighting.

Everything was perfect, except John, that is. He was excited and eager, but he did not rise to the occasion. What is wrong with me? John thought to himself. Then a little voice in the back of his head answered him. John went to check his Blood Glucose (BG) levels. 390 — John couldn't believe it. John calculated everything perfectly, but somewhere he missed it. Here's what John missed:
the fact that they finished dinner an hour ago! It's hard for insulin to burn off complex sugars like Chocolate Lava Cake, so his blood sugar went higher than normal for after dinner.
he underestimated the amount of carbohydrates in the meal itself.
he was so stressed out about the previous night that his body was releasing extra cortisol.
Cortisol is a hormone released when in a stressful state. Anxiety activates cortisol (glucose) secretion, which releases it into the body. This can and does cause BG imbalances such as, hyperglycemia. So John went around for several days worried that he was going to have to take Viagra to rise to the occasion.

In reality, John just needed to test his blood sugar and wait. The next time they met, they watched a movie while waiting and enjoying their time together. A few hours later after making sure that his blood sugars had stabilized at 120, they tried again and no erectile dysfunction for this virile man this time. They did it right!
In reality, the symptoms of diabetes can mimic other psychological and physical illnesses. Be careful and double check with your doctor to confirm or rule out that it is, in fact, diabetes-related.
If you're looking for more information, feel free to check our Eliot Lebow's site, Therapy Help, or Facebook.

The 3 BIGGEST Reasons Women Fake Orgasms, According to Science

Now you know.
It's almost a shameful subject to bring up, but fake orgasms are more common than we think. A Cosmopolitan sex survey this year found that 67 percent of women admitted to faking orgasms, mostly so the sex stops (and maybe they can finish it themselves later). What is going on?!
Lizette Borreli of Medical Daily got to the bottom of this phenomena and discovered it's not as simple as just wanting the sex to be over.
1. It's an evolutionary instinct to keep you as a mate.
In a 2011 study published in Archive of Behavior, scientists found that out of 450 women in long-term relationships, 54 percent admitted to faking orgasms. These women were also engaged in what scientists call "male-retention" behaviors, such as dressing up for their men or keeping tabs on their behavior.

Scientists theorized that in addition to looking good for their men, women fake orgasms to boost the ego of their male partners. Thus, they ensure that they get the "good genes" of their partners during intercourse.
According to relationship therapist Eboni Harris, "women tend to think if they are the best at taking care of their man (including sexually), he will not need to seek other mates."
Sadly, this leads women to neglect their own needs and pleasure in the bedroom.
2. They're sparing your feelings.
A 2014 study published in Culture, Health & Sexuality found that in a group of 18- to 59-year-old women (12 identifying as straight and the rest either bisexual or lesbian), all admitted that they have faked orgasms to keep their partner from feeling inadequate in bed.
This perpetuates the rampant belief of keeping the man happy in bed, and clinical social worker and therapist Dr. Judi Cineas says that this poses a problem. Sex becomes a chore, rather than something enjoyed by two partners.

3. They're physically unable to have one.
In a 2014 study published in the Journal of Sexual Archives, researchers found that instead of the two reasons mentioned above, women fake orgasms to enhance their own pleasure. Another study from Sexologies discovered that women who have difficulty reaching orgasm are often distracted during sex. But women who concentrate on the sensations during the act achieve it easily.
Relationship expert April Masini said in an interview with Medical Daily, "There are women who aren't comfortable having orgasms, or don't have them easily or at all, and faking it gets them out of what they feel is the pressure of having one naturally."
According to The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada, only a third of women orgasm during sex, while others might need more than just vaginal penetration, such as additional clitoral stimulation.

If you're a woman who finds herself faking more orgasms than having any, don't be afraid to ask your partner for what works best for you. Contrary to what you might think, men are also not thrilled with the idea that you aren't getting the pleasure you deserve. Only working together will achieve that big O.

I Tried Pleasure Sex Balls, But My Vagina Wasn't Having It

My nether regions hurt just thinking about it.
I think we can all blame Fifty Shades of Grey for our knowledge and misconceptions about Ben-Wa balls — or at least I can. I've known about the existence of them for a long time — and it's why I always giggled when Ben Wallace took the court during an NBA game — but I never imagined myself actually putting them into play (sports pun!).
In case you're not familiar, Ben-Wa balls go by a dozen different names: Kegel exercisers, pleasure balls, vaginal exercise balls, duotone balls, vaginal beads, orgasm balls and love balls to name a few.
They've been around since a Japanese courtesan called Rino-Tama discovered their pleasurable benefit and have since had both a medical and naughty use, but it wasn't until Christian Grey gave Anastasia a set in the first Fifty Shades book that their popularity really took off.

Medically, they're used to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, as you have to keep your vagina clenched to keep them in. There are also versions that are connected by string (usually silicone) and as you tug on the string you use your Kegel muscles to keep them in. It's basically like tug-of-war with your vagina. (Not sure what your Kegel muscles are? Imagine someone told you to stop peeing mid-stream. Those are them.)
They can also help with urinary incontinence as well as tightening up the ol' girl after childbirth, since your Kegel muscles are also the muscles that get all riled up during an orgasm. Basically, strong Kegels = strong climax.
Still with me? Good.
In addition to medical use, rumor is when you use Ben-Wa balls during everyday activity, the friction and motion they cause from within, combined with a clenching of your muscles, can bring about orgasm, or at least teasing pleasure. Naturally, I had to see for myself. 

My first reaction was, "Whoa, these are heavy for such little balls!" but I remained steadfast to use them to their full potential. I washed them well and inserted them one at a time. It was tricky to get them up to what felt high enough in my vagina, but I figured in was in, right? Wrong.
As soon as I took one step to the side, they slid out onto the floor. Undeterred, I tried to insert them lying down. I hiked my hips up into the the air and gave them a good solid shimmy — hopefully moving them higher, so they wouldn't fall out. I stood up, making sure to keep my muscles contracted. (After all, that was part of the challenge wasn't it?)
After about a minute of serious — and I mean serious — clenching, I realized I wasn't going to be able to walk, much less make it through an entire night with my vagina clenched that tight — in fact, she was beginning to go numb. I eased up ever so slightly, waiting for them to slip out. Surprisingly, they didn't. SUCCESS!
After a few minutes passed, I felt like I might be in the clear, so I proceeded to get dressed for my date that night with my husband. Shortly after, my husband joined me in the bathroom to finish up a few things himself and that's when it happened.

I went to step around him when one ball popped loose. I must have not felt it slide down! (To be fair, my Kegel muscles were still recovering from a lack of oxygen.) It fell to our stone tile floor with a 'THUD' before I could even register what was happening.
My husband and I locked eyes, as my cheeks turned not 50 Shades Of Grey, but 50 Shades of Red.
"Uh, did that just fall out of your...?" my husband asked. And as soon as he did, that's when I felt the other little guy break free, landing on the ground and rolling to its final resting place at my husband's foot.
Ever been standing in the bathroom with your lover as two steel balls fall out of your skirt? No? Just me?

That was the beginning and the end of the pleasure balls. I accepted that the combination of the ball's weight and small size with my birthed-two-children vagina was a coupling never meant to be — until two weeks later when I went out and bought bonus-sized silicone balls that promised to do their job with more efficiency and less, you know, droppage.
However, my pride still hasn't allowed me to try them. And the sound of steel balls dropping onto stone rings forever in my ears.

If You've Not Tried A Cock Ring, You're Missing SO MANY Orgasms

THIS is what the fuss is all about.
You might wonder what a cock ring is. The answer is simple enough: It's a ring that is placed on a penis.
The purpose of a cock ring is to restrict blood flow by keeping blood in the penis. Why would men want to do this, and why would women want their man to wear one? Simple. A cock ring allows a man to be harder and to stay hard longer. Your man should also feel a more intense orgasm since the cock ring makes him take longer to orgasm.
The penis should be either flaccid or semi-erect when the cock ring goes on. The penis then becomes erect after the ring is in place.
There are many benefits of using a cock ring, from harder erections to staying hard to adding vibration. Using a cock ring can spice things up in the bedroom. And cock rings are generally easy to find and to use.

But there are some things you might not know about using a cock ring, so read on to learn how to use a cock ring safely and properly.
How to wear a cock ring

Cock rings can be worn around the shaft or the shaft and balls. They can be either adjustable or fixed-sized rings that are usually worn at the base of the penis. They can also be worn just under the head of the penis or in the middle of the penis. Some men wear cock rings around their balls and their penis.
Plain or vibrating?
A cock ring can be just a ring, or it can include a vibrating attachment for both a man's pleasure and for a woman's pleasure. Vibrating cock rings have what are called "bullets" on them. Some bullets also have nubs, which is a good feature for extra clit stimulation when a man is using a cock ring. Vertical attachments more easily reach the clit during sex.

Size matters
Cock rings made from stretchy materials are comfortable, readily available, and you don't need a precise measurement, which makes them super popular, especially for men who have not worn one before.
If you're buying a cock ring that doesn't stretch, it's important for your man to measure the girth of his penis. One way for him to do this would be to bunch his fingers together until they approximate the size of his erect penis. Some adult stores will let you try on cock rings to see which size you are.
Different types of cock rings
Stretchy - Stretchy cock rings are generally silicone or rubber. This is good for sizing and for getting used to the feelings. Stretchy cock rings are ideal for beginners. They are easier to fit, and they're easier to remove. Men should buy stretchy rings that are slightly smaller than the circumference of their shaft.

Silicone - Silicone lasts forever and can be sterilized. Men like using a cock ring made from silicone because silicone cock rings are usually comfortable and feel soft against the skin.
Metal, Glass, Wood - Cock rings also come in metal, glass, and wood. If your man buys one of these, it's super important to get the exact measurements. If he gets a cock ring that's too small, it might get stuck or cause pain, cutting off blood circulation entirely. And that can send you both to the ER.
Many men swear by stainless steel or metal cock rings. They slide on and off easily, and the cool metal feels good against the skin. (It heats up to body temperature quickly.) Men who like metal cock rings also like the extra weight and firmness of them.
You can buy lower-quality cock rings: Yes, they cost less, but they can also break more easily. If this is something your man plans to use quite often, then he should spring for the better quality ones.

Cock Ring Use
Lube it up! - Men should always use a cock ring with lube, putting the lube on the inside of the cock ring. A water-based lube that is compatible with everything is a good choice, as there is no chance of it damaging the cock ring. Lube also makes it easier to put on and take off the cock ring. I talk more about this on my site.
Not so hard - A cock ring goes on a flaccid or semi-erect penis. Your man should slide it over the head of his penis onto the base. The cock ring should then rest at the base of the shaft. When your man becomes hard, the cock ring will feel tighter. If it's too tight and hurts, he should remove it right away. He should also remove it if there is pronounced swelling. The penis should get slightly bigger but not so much that it looks swollen.
All about the base - A cock ring should sit at the base of the penis around the shaft. It could also go around the shaft and the balls. It should feel somewhat tight but not tight enough to hurt. Some cock rings are designed to go around the balls and the penis. This type should also go on a flaccid penis. You man would put it around his balls first. First, one testicle goes through and then the other. The head of the penis would then sort of fold down and through the ring. This is where lube really helps as well.

Set a time limit - Use a cock ring for a single session. And that should last about 20 minutes. If your man starts to feel numb or if you see that his skin is discolored, he needs to take off the cock ring immediately. Your man might wish to build up to 20 minutes if this is the first time he's ever worn one.
Go flaccid - When learning how to use a cock ring, you and your man need to learn how to remove it. The cock ring comes off once your man is soft. Be careful if you remove it not to tug on his pubic hair.
A man should never wear a cock ring all night or go to sleep with one on. Damage to erectile tissue can happen if he does that. He can also get priapism, which is a painful erection that lasts for more than four hours. It happens when the blood in the penis becomes trapped. If not treated right away, scarring and erectile dysfunction can occur.
If you want to learn some powerful oral sex tips and techniques, then you may be interested in watching this intense tutorial video. Click here to watch it now.

Doing THIS One Thing During Sex Pretty Much Guarantees An Orgasm

Thank us later ;)
Many women are concerned about their inability to have orgasms during intercourse. Women have been taught that the ultimate sexual achievement is simultaneous orgasm during sex.
Sadly, this myth creates a huge amount of needless anxiety and distracts women from their authentic experience of sexual pleasure. When women focus on having orgasms during intercourse, they're ignoring the basic facts of their sexual anatomy.
Here's the real deal: the clitoris is the centerpiece of the female sexual system, and clitoral stimulation is how most women experience orgasms. The clitoris is the anatomical match to the penis, so just imagine men trying to reach orgasm without touching their penis and you'll get a sense of how essential clitoral stimulation is to female orgasm.

Most women don't have orgasms from intercourse alone, but rather from focused clitoral stimulation. For most women, skilled fingering or oral sex is a much easier way to have orgasms with their partners. Most studies reveal that 60 to 80 percent of women never have orgasms during sex, yet a lot of women hesitate to ask their lovers to bring them to a sexual climax through other sexual activities.
Our culture's relentless emphasis on sex creates a lot of pressure to enjoy it as the main event, when the reality is that many women find other kinds of sexual stimulation preferable to reach an orgasm.
If an orgasm is out of reach, her partner can at least bring her to very high levels of arousal before penetrating. At all costs, penetration without any arousal must be avoided.

Being penetrated too quickly without warm-up is one of the most common reasons for painful and unfulfilling sex. To make sex more pleasurable for a woman, it's essential to start by creating lots of arousal or orgasms. Most women find penetration way more pleasurable after an orgasm, and are sometimes even orgasmic during intercourse after lots of warm-up orgasms.

A woman's lover can get her ready for penetration by arousing her or creating orgasms through manual stimulation or oral sex, or a woman can give herself an orgasm by touching her own clitoris or using a vibrator.
Many people think about the clitoris as an external structure, but what you can see is just the tip of the iceberg. The clitoris extends deep into the body with branches of nerves traveling down the sides of the labia and back into the vagina. Once the clitoris has been warmed up and activated, penetration becomes much more pleasurable, as the roots of the clitoris are turned on and ready to be stimulated.
There's now evidence that many of the nerve endings in the G-spot are actually the back part of the clitoral structure, so clitoral stimulation is essential to activate the pleasure potential of the G-spot.
Arousal and orgasms bring lots of blood flow to the vagina, relax tension and prepare the body to be penetrated. But this doesn't mean that sex isn't important.

For many heterosexual couples, it's a very important form of sexual intimacy. What's essential is that couples take a lot of time for foreplay and then focus on the sexual activities that create lots of arousal or bring the woman to orgasm before moving on to intercourse.

If you want to increase the chances of having an orgasm during intercourse, be sure to add clitoral stimulation. Women can either touch her own clitoris or use a vibrator as her lover penetrates her. It's possible for a man to reach down and stimulate the clit as he penetrates a woman. This is easier in certain positions like doggy style because you can reach around and touch the clitoris while still maintaining the rhythm of penetration.
Every combination of bodies is different, so enjoy the explorations of how you can best stimulate the clitoris to create more potential for orgasm during intercourse.
Female orgasms during intercourse aren't impossible, but they aren't as common as our culture would have us believe. Orgasms during sex are much more common if the woman is already orgasmic from receiving erotic touch or oral sex before intercourse begins. This is the blessing of female multiple orgasms at work.

So if you want to experience more orgasmic sex, make sure you have orgasms before penetration starts. Enjoy the process of getting warmed up and highly aroused, and intercourse will become much more pleasurable for you both.

A Guy's 100% Unfiltered Perspective On What Makes Sex INSANELY Good

Good sex: a man explains his preferences.
I have never met a woman who thought she was bad in bed. I have known plenty of women who can rattle off an impromptu, critical dissertation on the carnal failings of most men. “He didn’t get me off.” “He treated my nipples like Xbox control sticks.” “He came before his pants were off.”
No, not all women are great in bed. Is the onus on dudes to break the bedsprings? I say no. It is both of our responsibilities to be the best lay possible. There are women who kick back Cleopatra-style and dare their men to please them. Women who use men like giant, hairy vibrators, and women who are so eager to please, it can be overwhelming.
(Oh, and on a side note: feathers are never sexy. Never. Neither are oils, and I’m emphasizing the plural here. One broad I dated had a shelf of scented oils and my skin crawled when she reached for them. Man was not meant to glisten and smell like lavender.)
Granted, I realize there is a difference in standards. Some men think that “good in bed” means “she has a vagina and is willing to let me put my penis inside of it.” Most guys, though, care about getting you off, and also care, deeply, that you care about getting them off.
I’m going to bring up a friend of mine who spoke to me in confidence a few weeks ago. Let’s call him Chet. Chet met a chick at a party, got digits, went on a few dates with her, followed the Romantic Nice Guy book, and finally, after a month or so, slept with her. For the next week, they did the deed a couple more times.

He was unimpressed and therefore, despondent. She was bad in bed. She just laid there, kept her eyes closed throughout, and pulled his hair. It was mechanical. None of it really lit his fuse. According to Chet, he had brought his game. They both got off, but no fireworks — just the jaunty warble of a bugle.

There is no accounting for chemistry, but he tells me that he’s a little loopy for this chick, that they both give each other ye olde sweaty palms and he’s befuddled as to why they aren’t clicking. He doesn’t know what to do.
I asked him if she knows how he’s sexually unsatisfied. Then I told him not to tell her under any circumstance. Instead, show her. Be a man and show her what’s up. The best place to start is first base. First base is still kissing, right? Because depending on whom I ask, it’s either kissing or anal.
Good sex is about one thing and one thing only: communication. Cliché, you might say? Yeah, well your mom is cliché. And the best kind of sexual communication is the kind where you don’t actually have to talk. Unless it’s dirty talk. Really, filthy dirty talk ideally conducted when her heels are up by your ears. This is what our lower chakras crave.
Everything you need to know about being good in the sack starts with the spark that sets off the giant, cartoon drum of TNT: kissing. Smooching isn’t just the pre-game, it’s pure, insider information.
You can size up a lover by how they kiss, and even more importantly, you can become a better lover by paying attention to every greedy, electric slurp. Making out is the most underrated sexual activity, followed closely by dry humping.
A bad kisser is a bad kisser not because she drools, or pile drives her tongue, or smooches like she’s kissing Santa. A bad kisser is someone who doesn’t listen with their lips.
The secret to sucking face is simple: The best kissers, like the best lovers, understand body language and give and take. They are open to nonverbal communication and adapt to whether the other person likes nibbles, a darting tongue, or open, opera mouth.

I don’t think Chet is reading this. So it’s just us ladies! Here’s what I’m going to tell him: Make out with her, follow her lead a little, and show her, tenderly, how Big Daddy likes it done. Take your time. Focus all of your sexual energies into this pursuit and mix it up. Be passionate and sloppy, smoldering and delicate.
From this sole activity, all things kinky flow. All the while, be attentive to the other. Kissing can tell you whether the person is a top or a bottom, whether they signify “Me Like” with a moan, or whisper, or an imperceptible twitch. What works for the mouth, works for the nipples, that little spot beneath the bellybutton, and of course, the genital organs.

This advice will make everyone a little better in bed. I want everyone to be in love and having really messy, intense sex, the kind that leaves you blushing and panting, a total wet mess with claw marks on the walls and the bed sheets balled up in a corner of the bed.
You’re welcome. All of you. So welcome.

5 Totally Hot Ways To Have An Orgasm Without Having Sex

Things are about to get soaking wet.
It's totally normal to get stuck in rut of plain old in-and-out penetrative sex. There's no shame in that game! We're human beings and if something works, the last thing we're going to do is stop doing that thing and try something brand new.
It makes sense that we'd forget that some of the best orgasms around don't even happen during penetrative sex. If you want to experience orgasms like none you've ever had before you owe it to yourself to hold off and try these 5 hot penetration-free techniques right now.
1. Dry humping
Dry humping (otherwise known as frottage) used to be strictly the provenance of horny teenagers. Now it's enjoying a comeback as a majorly hot form of foreplay. In fact, if you do it right, dry humping can lead to penetration-free orgasms like nothing you've ever experienced.
The friction of the clothing against your genitals is the perfect material for building that tension that's oh-so-necessary for achieving orgasmic relief. Sure, you might be allowed to whip off your jeans and get down to business now that you're all grown up, but that doesn't mean you have to!
2. Dirty talk 

We tend to think of dirty talk as the saucy cherry on top of the sex sundae. While talking dirty can definitely heighten things during penetrative sex, it can actually be enough all on its own to help you have a mind blowing orgasm.

It kind of makes sense, if you stop and think about it for a second. The biggest sexual organ in both men and women IS the brain, after all. What a vibrator does for your vagina and clitoris well-performed dirty talk does for your brain. This doesn't mean you have to start out hot and heavy detailing insane fantasies involving the two of you, a cheering crowd, and a vat of Jell-O either. Start slow, telling your partner what you like, what turns you on, what you love doing to them. It's got to feel natural if it's going to push you over the edge lead to earth-shattering orgasms.
3. Direct stimulation

Oral sex is awesome, but nothing beats concentrated direct stimulation to the clitoris. Welcome to orgasm city, population: you, you, you. But make sure your partner who is performing said direction stimulation understands the female anatomy properly before you get started.
Many men (and some women) don't know that the clitoris is more that the nub of erectile tissue nestled above the vaginal opening. The clitoris extends to ten times that inside internally. By stroking your labia and working your pubic mound, your partner is actually working your entire clitoris. This is what dreams (and orgasms) are made of.
4. Boob play 

It's a fact, your nipples are pretty banging erogenous zones and if stimulated properly they can give you totally unique orgasms like nothing you've experienced during penetrative sex. That said, every woman is different. Some have very sensitive nipples and can be sent over the edge with just some light brushing from the back of the hand. Others will need some rougher loving, with pinching and light slapping.

Don't feel defeated if you try this and don't get right to having stellar orgasms. Sex like everything else, has a learning curve. Give yourself time to explore what works (and what doesn't) for you, your body and your partner. And remember, practicing is fun all by itself.

5. Masturbate together

Masturbation and sex have approximately one thing in common: if performed the right way for your body they can both lead to orgasms. If you have been having a difficult time having orgasms with your partner, masturbating together could be the key to solving your bedroom problems.
Killer orgasms are all about owning your sexuality and your body. You know how you like to be touched and what works for you, so does your partner. Watching each other masturbate isn't just hot, it's all totally educational. Once you see how your partner tackles their body and you see how they tackle theirs, you can come together and really blow each other's minds with your new found knowledge.

The Only 5 Sex Positions That GUARANTEE Multiple Orgasms

Don't waste your time with any of others.
For many women, multiple orgasms seem like Mount Everest.
It's the icy, unattainable summit, lined with the dead frozen bodies of those who have gone before us and failed.
We know it's reckless, we know it ultimately doesn't matter, and yet we must summit: simply because it is there.
If you've never had multiple orgasms, there's something you should know. While they are awesome (they are orgasms, after all), they are also less intense than your average big 'o'.
Sure, you're coming over and over again, but never with that break neck intensity we associate with one orgasm. But it is a definitely an experience worth having, and I think it's totally achievable for all women.

If you want to embark on this journey, consider me your Sherpa. Here are the best sex positions to get your started up on your multiple orgasmic adventure.
1. Solo Flyer Masturbation
Before you try multiple orgasms with a partner, you should try making them happen yourself. Using your toy of choice, take your time getting there.
Work on edging, and just when you feel your climax coming on, back away from that. Regular practice will help you control you orgasms, making multiples easy peasy. 

2. Classy Lady Cowgirl Sex Position
This is a new take on a classic. Mount him as you would for reverse cowgirl, back facing him. But instead of straddling both of his legs, just straddle one.
This gives you even more fine tune quality control. It also helps him learn what speed and depth get you off.
3. Downward Doggy Style Sex Position
This is one of my favorite sex positions. Assume the doggy style position. But, instead of propping yourself up onto your hands, bend your elbows and rest them on a pillow.
This angle gives him increased access and makes contact with your clit totally unavoidable. 

4. Daddy's Little Helper Sex Position
When it comes to multiple orgasms, for some, the G-Spot is king.
Take things out of the bedroom, hop up on a kitchen counter and wrap your legs around your man. This gives him access to your G-spot like whoa, and gives you space to play with your clit for maximum pleasure.

5. Oral Sex, Baby!
If multiple orgasms are the name of the game, then you've got to get him to go down on your for an extended period of time.
A nice oral sex session takes the pressure off of him to stay hard throughout your multiples, and saves your vagina a lot of wear and tear. Multiples orgasms are great, but so is being able to walk. You heard it here first.

How To Masturbate In A Bathtub For The BEST Wet Orgasm Ever

Soap up and get ready for the hottest bath of your life.
My favorite place to masturbate is in the bathtub. Hands down. It's produced the best wet orgasms I've ever had to date.
I bet you're SUPER glad you know that now. Whatever, it's not like you're surprised I'm sharing. I've also pooped today, maybe I will write about that (but probably not).
Back to the issue at hand: The orgasmic delights of bathtub masturbation.
I leap into those steaming suds and my goodness the wet orgasms that unfold once I've returned to this, the slipperiest of elements. For seven years I went without a bathtub.
I call these the dark ages, a joke that kind of hurts my Hitachi's feelings, but whatever, it's the truth. 

I still masturbated, and I still had wild orgasms, but something was missing.

Now that I've got a tub in my life once more, I've been more than making up for lost time.
If you don't understand the appeal of a bathtub masturbation session, allow me to break down how to add the sensual elements to bring yourself to self-love heaven and have the best wet orgasm of your life.
1. Add bubbles
I don't know why I find all of that foam so seductive but I absolutely do. A pleasant scent, and foamy temporary pasties get me immediately in the mood to get down. Getting dirty while getting clean is the absolute best.

2. Use the shower head

Hello, I'd like to introduce you to your best friend, the detachable shower head. It's like a vibrator that's permanently installed in your bathroom. Using it as your own pleasure pet, experimenting with different speeds and temperatures? The best.
3. Use the faucet (down there)
If you're a true pillow princess, the running bath faucet is your best friend. Position yourself beneath the stream and let the weight of the falling water do all of the work.
4. Enjoy the feeling of weightlessness
There's something deeply erotic about feeling like you're floating in space. You feel safe, secure and utter transported. It doesn't get hotter than that.
5. Enjoy the sensation of your wet skin
In the bathtub the feeling of your entire body is different. It's still yours, but it's also foreign and begging to be explored. Spending time gently teasing yourself in the tub is the hottest way to ensure a steaming hot orgasm.
6. Enjoy waterproof sex toys
You know what are adorable? WATERPROOF VIBRATORS YOU GUYS.
Quack, quack indeed.
7. Treat yourself like you're on a mini vacation
The minute you close the door, get the music playing, and get the bubbles flowing you are utterly transported. It's like a spa vacation, or like a spa vacation you might see in a porno and you are the star.

It's Not That She 'Won't Let Herself Go,' It's That You Suck In Bed

In fact, YOU may be the one with a “control issue.”

Let me tell you about an obnoxious conversation I had last night:

I'm hanging out at a bar. It's karaoke night and I'm having a blast. But eventually, it's 1 AM and I've GOT to go home. So this guy I've hung out with a few times say he'll walk to my car.

Fast forward about two minutes and this guy is in the middle of his "psychoanalysis" of me. Apparently, I "thrive on loneliness" and I'm "probably too much of a control freak to let him give me an orgasm." I guess I was supposed to be impressed?
If you knew me, you'd know exactly how comical his little assessment was. What isn't comical, though, is his common refrain, which I've heard way too many guys sing:
"She couldn't have an orgasm with me because she was a control freak."

"It's too bad she couldn't let herself go and truly enjoy herself."
Sorry to burst your bubble, boys, but I've got some bad news: It's not that she's a control freak. It's that you're bad in bed.

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First of all, the fact that you think the female orgasm is a simple matter of "letting go" reflects a major misunderstanding of/disconnect from said orgasm. If you want women to rave about your sexual prowess, go educate yourself!
Second, if you're so focused on her imaginary "control" issues, you're probably ignoring her actual wants and needs. I mean, dude. If she's naked in a bed letting you penetrate her, don't you think she's pretty much let herself go?

It's not about "control" at this point. It's about building trust and comfort with each other. If you're only just getting to know each other, she might be worried what you think about her body, wondering if you truly do love her flaws and imperfections. She may be worried about making sure you feel good and figuring out what you like.
Does that sound like a "control" issue to you? If so, you must have a pretty low emotional intelligence. If not, just accept some things take time. Chill. You can't control how comfortable she feels with you. You know?
Let's go back to the "ignoring her needs" thing real quick. Another obnoxious thing I've seen a lot of men do is reduce women to a series of if/then statements. We're not algorithms — and we're not all clones of each other, either.
Just because you had wild success doing that thing with your tongue in your last relationship doesn't mean this woman is into it. She might think it's really weird. Or it might just feel like nothing to her.

If you're not sure what this woman likes, ask her. Talk about it. Experiment with a bunch of different things and pay attention to her breathing and body language. Or (again) ASK HER.

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Another mistake you might be making is pressuring her to "perform" her pleasure. You're all, "Oh, you didn't orgasm! Just let yourself go! Just do this! Just do that! I've got you ALLLLLL figured out!" Guess what, though? That kind of feedback? It makes people feel like they need to "perform" their pleasure for you. It makes them worry if they "look like" they're enjoying it enough. And that makes it basically impossible to orgasm.

Finally, I'm no psychoanalyst but have you considered that you might be projecting your control issues onto her? I mean, maybe she prefers manually stimulating herself while you penetrate her. Maybe she has meh (or no) orgasms with penetration alone, but she has these hugely explosive, amazing ones when she adds a little finger action. Maybe you should just accept that she likes what she likes, instead of trying to control what she likes.

Maybe instead of trying to control how she expresses her pleasure and satisfaction, you should be supportive and non-judgmental. Maybe instead of sticking to your limited repertoire, you should let go of some control and let her drive.

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You can't control her. You can't control what makes her feel good. You can't control how comfortable she feels with you or how much she trusts you. The only thing you can control is your understanding of the female orgasm.

I said it before. I'll say it again. Go educate yourself. Ian Kerner's She Comes First is a great first step.