How to Do Anal Sex for the First Time

We're taught from a young age that anything to do with our bottom is dirty, and we're encouraged to be clean, which includes ‘clean thoughts' – don't talk about your toilet activities, especially in front of strangers!  No wonder the idea of anal sex sends us off on a private, guilty curiosity spree. Cultural baggage has a lot to answer for.

Personally, I think that every part of the human body deserves sexual exploration. Anal sex holds the potential for some thrilling and very intimate pleasurable discoveries. If you're curious and want to know how, here are some useful things for you to consider on your journey…

Acquaint Yourself with Your Anus First!

Most of us started our sexual journeys by fiddling with our clits, so why should anal sex be any different? There's nothing to be squeamish about when it's your own body and you're doing it in private.

Have a nice soak in the bath to get yourself all clean and relaxed, get some of those essential oils burning. Make sure you have some baby wipes, a water-based lubricant and any sex toys at hand, and that your nails are filed neatly; then settle down for some very intimate self-exploration!

It's important to be turned on before you start poking at your behind.  One girl I spoke to suggests watching some soft porn to get your juices flowing.  Or you may just want to have some music playing, close your eyes and fantasize.

Start out by playing with your nipples, clit and vagina… turn yourself on… you know how to do it, you secret little horny nymph.  Use your dildo for some penetration if you like, but don't let yourself come! You want to get yourself into a tingly state of slowly built-up anticipation.

Then, using plenty of lube venture further south and start rimming your anus entrance slowly and gently with your finger.  It will feel very different.

Keep it going, and keep rubbing your clit or G spot with the other hand (Never mix the hands up, it will lead to all sorts of unpleasant and very un-sexy after-effects that will put your sex life on hold for a good week or more!)

As you get more and more turned on, and everything starts to naturally ‘open up' you may feel that pleasurable sensation you get when you go the toilet; this could be the time to rim a little deeper, making sure your finger is always lubed up.

The wonderful thing is that there is nobody watching, nobody pushing; you can literally go at your own pace and only do what feels good to you.

Once your finger has been fully inserted you can feel around and see what feels good. Poke in and out using plenty of that lube, and different depths and enjoy the feeling of your anus contracting and opening up.

You should be experiencing some amazing sensations, and a satisfied feeling of ‘fullness' if you are still playing with your clit and/or inserting your other fingers or a dildo into your vagina at the same time.

Try using a vibrator around the anus for an intensely pleasurable G spot or clitoral orgasm!

Having Anal Sex For the First Time with Your Man

Once you have thoroughly explored the area by yourself, many of the most common fears and insecurities will have been dealt with.  It's not a dirty experience after all, is it?  Except in the kinky sense of the word.

And if you've taken the time to relax and turn yourself on, and you have used plenty of lubrication, it's not painful either!  The idea of having Anal sex with your partner on the other hand may be leaving you feeling vulnerable… which is perfectly normal, and perhaps part of the fantasy for both of you.

Anal sex carries implications of domination and submission which can be very sexy when there is mutual trust and respect between you and your man.

Before you dive into having full-on Anal sex with him, start out by getting him to play with you. It will feel different having someone else touch you down there, and your body may not react in the same way as when you experimented alone.

Anal sex should always be a slow sexy build up, and you both need to be comfortable and familiar with your anus and how it reacts before his penis goes anywhere near it. He has to appreciate and respect what it's all about first – it's not just a tight hole for devour like all the porn sites suggest!

Don't forget to use plenty of heavy water-based lubrication.  Your vagina is self-lubricating, your anus is not.  It will be susceptible to tiny internal tears which will be painful and can cause infection.

Penetration for the first time will be a team effort. If he barges his way in it will hurt. Your anus has two sets of sphincter muscles; internal and external. The external ones you can control at will, so you may think you are relaxed and ready for penetration, but the internal sphincter muscle will contract like a reflex as soon as his penis tries to enter.

It's like an automatic ‘no entry gate alarm system' It is important for him to ease his penis in gradually by inserting inch by inch and pulling out each time until the muscles relax and ‘accept' him. It can help if he is kissing you and playing with other parts of your body to keep up the stimulation.

TIP: The most difficult part will be pushing the head of his penis past your anus hole.  It can help if you squeeze your muscles when you breathe in, and relax them when you breathe out.  When you relax he can then slowly push the penis in a bit. Sounds a bit like giving birth to a baby, but the opposite way around, doesn't it?

Now there's one thing to be prepared for; once he gets the head of his penis past the sphincter he is going to feel a distinct difference. The sphincter will continue to constrict tightly around the shaft of his penis, but inside the rectum there is a lot more room, and some men may find the sensation confusing.

It's not unusual for a guy to lose his erection at this point. But don't freak out!  It doesn't mean he has changed his mind, it's just a physical reaction to the change of environment; his penis simply needs to adjust to the sudden and perhaps unexpected change of sensation.

Once he's in, make sure he knows that he can't just go crazy on you!  Having Anal Sex in real life is not going to look like it does in the porn movies. Those girls are on all kinds of relaxants and numbing creams – which to be honest kind of defeats the point, don't you want to feel the sensations?  So go slow, be sensual, communicate and have a good time.

Positions and Toys for Anal Sex Fun

Now that you have all the basic information, here are some extra tit-bits to help you enjoy and get the most pleasure from your Anal sexual adventures…

Always use non-porous, easy-to-clean silicone toys; like butt plugs, vibrators and dildos. It's probably best to develop a collection of toys specifically for anal play, because even the tiniest trace of feces will cause nasty infections if used on or around the vagina.

When using toys make sure they have a flared base.  Things can get sucked into that little black hole you know!  And you won't be able to get them out yourself… just saying.

If you are nervous about having Anal sex with your man, make sure you do it positions where you can be in control of the depth of penetration… i.e. woman on top!

Doggie-style is perfect for G Spot stimulation because the space between your vagina and rectum is so thin that the penis will press up against your G spot.  And your man can reach round and play with your breasts and clit too – who says Anal sex is only pleasurable for men?

Try double penetration for a very full feeling and extra G Spot stimulation – do it by introducing your dildo or vibrator into the mix!

And last, but not least, the most important thing to enjoy anal sex is that you are completely comfortable with your body and that you feel sexy. The more a guy wants you, and the sexier you feel in your body, the more relaxed you can be and in tune with the pleasure you are feeling. That's why it's great that you build a bigger, better, firmer booty that you can be proud of and that all men will chase you for.

Chime in, share your experiences and ask questions in the comment section below. Do you have any tips for our sexy community of readers?

4 Surprising Ways To Stop Hiccups, Based On Research

After eating a whole plate of food, sweet desserts, and chugging our beverage of choice, we begin to feel an unusual sensation in our body as our diaphragm tightens and our vocal cords close suddenly. Every two seconds, we incessantly begin to make a “hic” sound. As we are bombarded with medical anecdotes from various onlookers, we realize these methods put no end to our hiccups. So before you take a spoonful of peanut butter to remedy your hiccups, try these four bizarre ways to stop them and help you breathe easier.

Got a bad case of the hiccups? Get rid of the unexpected "hic" sound with these surprising cures — from drinking with plugged ears to a rectal message. Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

1. Drink Water Plugged Ears

Drink an entire glass of water with a straw and block both of your ears, or get a friend to do it while you drink. When we hiccup, the vagus nerves or phrenic nerves are either damaged or irritated, and therefore require stimulation to normally function again. Since the branches of the vagus nerve reach into the auditory system, putting your fingers in your ears can stimulate the nerve endings, and therefore get the vagus nerve started. In the Canadian Family Physician, emergency room doctor Ronald Goldstein suggests drinking a cold glass of water and simultaneously tightly pressing the tragi of the ears inward to seal the external acoustic meati. 

2. Pull Your Tongue Out

Yes, this may be considered rude to do in public, but pulling out your tongue helps to stop those incessant hiccups. Sticking out your tongue helps to stimulate the vagus nerve and ease the diaphragm spasms, while helping to avoid gag reflexes. You can also do this by pulling your tongue with your fingers, according to Discovery.

3. Have an Orgasm

An orgasm during intercourse may be able to cure a bad case of the hiccups. In a 2000 study, a healthy 40-year-old man suffered from intractable hiccups until he reached the moment of ejaculation during sexual intercourse, and suddenly the hiccups disappeared and did not return for 12 months. The researchers, however, do not know if an orgasm in women may lead to a similar resolution, an issue that could be investigated further.

4. Get a Rectal Message

While this is downright bizarre and impractical, a rectal message, using a finger, is found to cure intractable hiccups. In a 2006 study, seven out of seven patients were cured of hiccups with the stimulation of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves. The 60-year-old man with acute pancreatitits tried a digital rectal massage, and when his hiccups returned a few hours later, he was able to terminate them immediately with another rectal massage. The researchers suggest that this maneuver should be considered in cases of intractable hiccups before proceeding with pharmacological agents.

3 Shocking Things You Probably Do Not Know About Orgasms

Did you know that an orgasm can make you go temporarily blind? Or, that you can want to toss your man out of your bed for no particular reason after having sex? How about squirting?

Basic Things Every Girl Needs To Know About Orgasms

Let’s quickly cover the basics before we get to the juicy stuff, otherwise it won’t make sense. So, here goes: the more often you have orgasms, the easier it is to have them. This is one of the reasons why people recommend masturbation. It seems orgasms are also good for your overall health and immune system.

There are plenty of things to help women have orgasms, from Orgasmic Meditation to tantra and relaxation. You need blood to flow to your extremities to have an orgasm, so exercising is important and will likely help you have better orgasms.

Normally, you have an orgasm by stimulating your clitoris, g-spot and surrounding areas, as well as other erogenous zones on your body (like your nipples) and by contracting your vaginal muscles (as will happen naturally during an orgasm). You can build these muscles by doing keggles.

Another important aspect of having orgasms is to keep your thoughts on things that turn you on, as opposed to your next task coming up at work. This is why relaxation and learning to focus on what’s at hand is so important.

Now that we’ve covered that, let’s move onto other things….

1. Could Sex Actually Make You Go Blind?

Believe it or not, you can quite literally be blinded by the light when you have an orgasm. This is referred to as transient monocular vision loss.

According to a study published by the Department of Ophthalmology at Glostrup Hospital at the University of Copenhagen, it happens when “the muscle walls contract around a blood vessel, restricting the flow of blood.” This is the very same condition that would lead to erectile dysfunction, though associated with a completely different area of the body (and not related). The blindness is temporary and completely harmless.

However, it also seems that the same thing can happen, according to NBC News, when “a piece of fatty plaque from the carotid artery breaks off, travels to an eye’s retinal artery, and dams up the eye’s blood supply.” This is more serious as it could be a sign that you suffer from atherosclerosis and heart disease.

In other words, if you go temporarily blind during sex and have no heart problems, exercise and eat well, chances are you don’t really have anything to worry about.

All the same, you should contact your physician and have an examination done. There are also prescription drugs that can potentially help you, should it be something that happens regularly.

2. Here's Why You Might Feel Confused After Orgasming.

Orgasm is a blissful state, occurring thanks to a cocktail of hormones that build up during bonding and sexual activity. However, just after an orgasm, these hormones can suddenly drop to low levels, inducing depression and a desire to get away from your mate.

You see this phenomena happening with men where they fall asleep just after sex as their hormone levels drop faster than women’s. In more severe cases though, both men and women can experience extremely low levels of certain hormones and end up completely detached to whoever they just had sex with.

Some may even end up depressed for up to two weeks, while for others, it lasts ten minutes, during which time they simply don’t want to cuddle.

A similar phenomenon, called D-MER, happens to women who breastfeed. This is often referred to as post-coital tristesse.

There are many ways to stabilize hormones around love, including avoiding that high of falling in love followed by the low of “we’re in a relationship”. This can be done exercising and, low and behold, eating carbs. Have a look at what you can do to stabilize your overall hormone levels, and contact a health care practitioner if you experience these symptoms.

3. Ejaculation? Not Just For Men.

It’s not only men who ejaculate during sex—women can do also so. There has been a lot of debate about it though, as up until recently not many scientific studies were done on the subject.

According to Wikipedia, “it is suggested that “real” female ejaculation is the release of a very scanty, thick and whitish fluid from the female prostate, while the “squirting” or “gushing” (shown frequently in pornography) is a different phenomenon; the expulsion of clear and abundant fluid, which has been shown to be a diluted fluid from the urinary bladder.”

A new study concluded that when squirting or gushing, it was mainly urine, mixed with some matter from the female prostate. Ejaculation, however, is a smallish amount of thick, white matter.

Both phenomena have been observed for hundreds of years and are associated with sexual pleasure.

So, there you have it: orgasms can make you go temporarily blind, which is thankfully not dangerous unless related to heart problems. It can also make you want to throw your man out the bedroom for an hour afterwards or make you a bit depressed for a while as your hormone levels drop. And, like men, women can ejaculate from pleasure.

What's the most shocking or memorable thing that happened to you when it comes to orgasms?

5 weird things shouldnt cause orgasms do

Ask a woman what an orgasm feels like, and she’ll probably tell you that it falls somewhere along the lines of a tingly feeling that intensifies to the point that it’s felt overwhelmingly throughout the whole body — at least that seems to be the general consensus among Reddit users. But despite what you may believe, they don’t always have to result from sex, masturbation, or whatever other direct stimulation you may use. No, there are countless other, weirder ways to achieve that oh-so-glorious rush of good feeling, even if it’s not always as glorious. Here are five.

Parkinson’s Disease Drugs

Parkinson’s disease is a disorder of the nervous system that causes a person to experience tremors in their hands, as well as stiffness in the arms and legs. It’s a rather disabling disease, but it became unbearable for a 42-year-old woman after 10 days of taking the drug rasagiline, which was supposed to reduce her symptoms. Along with treating her disease, the drug also caused her to experience increased arousal and libido, which led her to have spontaneous orgasms three to five times a day, lasting five to 20 seconds.

She visited a hospital complaining about the orgasms, and stopped taking the drugs for a few days. When she started taking them again on day 15, the ominous orgasms returned, forcing her to stop taking the drug altogether. Doctors believe that the orgasms were a result of excessive dopamine levels — the neurotransmitter for pleasure — in the brain.

Childbirth

Yeah, that’s right. At least with your next child, you’ll go into labor hopeful that, besides giving birth to a healthy baby, your pain will be supplemented by a rush of that glorious sensation. In a survey of midwives who had assisted with over 206,000 births, there were 668 births in which sensations akin to an orgasm occurred. Nine of the mothers experienced a full-on orgasm.

Obviously, this happens because the baby stimulates the same areas of the vagina that would normally be stimulated for an orgasm. Interestingly, the researchers involved with the study believe it occurs more often, but because they asked midwives and not the actual mothers, it doesn’t show in the results. They also believe that Western birth settings don’t lend to a more pleasurable birth experience, as fetal monitoring devices, little labor support, and other limitations hinder a woman’s ability to give birth pleasurably.

Thinking Off

This kind of orgasm was featured on an episode of TLC’s Strange Sex. It was pioneered by Barbara Carrellas, a former Broadway performer in New York City who wanted to discover safer ways to achieve orgasms during the AIDS crisis of the 1980s. She found that a combination of deep breathing, imagination, making sounds, and squeezing the pelvic floor muscles, could induce an orgasmic sensation over the entire body — even for men.

When a pair of Rutgers University researchers had her perform the technique in an fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) machine, they found that thinking off activated the same parts of the brain as regular orgasms. “It’s really equivalent, in terms of physiological response and brain response, to genitally stimulated orgasms,” said Dr. Barry Komisaruk, a professor at the university, on the TLC show.

Foot Stimulation

Though rare, one 55-year-old woman experienced up to six orgasms a day, all of which originated in her left foot, for about a year-and-a-half before visiting a doctor. She didn’t even need to feel any kind of sexual arousal for her orgasm to start in the foot, creep its way up to behind the knee, and end in the vagina. Although MRI scans of her brain and foot showed no abnormalities, researchers found in another test that the nerves differentiated between her left and right feet. After receiving an anesthetic injection into the spinal nerve that receives sensory information from the foot, she hasn’t had an orgasm since.

Exercise

Called coregasms, these orgasms occur, as the name implies, when women do core-strengthening exercises. A study conducted by researchers at Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion, found that women who did crunches, rope climbing, weight lifting, swimming, and even some yoga poses were able to induce an orgasm. Most participants said they were able to induce the effect on command, and 44 percent said they had experienced 11 or more orgasms during exercise.

Though the researchers weren’t exactly sure how the orgasms were triggered, they hypothesized that the exercise increased blood flow to the vagina, while also putting pressure on the clitoris. In an interview with Popular Science, researcher Debby Herbenick said she sees “orgasm more as a mind-body event that we’ve perhaps taught ourselves to experience during sex, and which often occurs during sexual activities, but that also occurs in other ways.”