What Women Really Think When A Man Can’t Ejaculate

Complaining about your partner taking too long to come/not orgasming can produce some serious eye rolls.  "Wow, you have sex for a long time? It must be tough being you."  Our culture paints delayed ejaculation as some kind of… amazing scenario for straight women, when in reality, it can introduce a hell of a lot of frustration and confusion into your relationship.

Have you had to deal with delayed ejaculation?  How did you and your partner deal with it?  Let us know in a comment below!

When men cannot/do not come in a short period of time, women automatically pin-point the blame on themselves. “It’s my fault.” But in reality, it’s no one's fault.

In short, your partner probably realizes the toll this has on you. So saying things like, “God, will you come already?” probably contributes to the anxiety he feels in being unable to satisfy you, his partner.

It goes full circle. We, as women, freak out about our partners inability to orgasm and we get into our own heads… and ultimately, his own self-consciousness.

So, if your man isn’t ejaculating, it’s not because you are the worst sexual partner in the history of sexual partners. A whole host of issues can affect a guy’s ability to orgasm.

From short-term issues (such as stress) to lifelong issues, some of these problems have solutions… and some don’t. But, regardless, the important thing to take away is that it is not your fault, just as much as it isn’t his. There a variety of reasons your S.O. may be experiencing a delayed orgasm.

Medications. Lots of common medications can have sexual side effects, including delayed orgasm for men and women alike. Switching medications can be a simple fix!

Mental health. Even if you aren't being medicated, suffering from mental illness can take a serious toll on your sex life. Anxiety and depression can lead to delayed orgasms; mental illness makes it hard for you to do day-to-day things, so how the hell are you expected to perform as well?

Miscellaneous health conditions. There can be an array of chronic conditions that can lead to impotence. If you think there's something greater at play, be sensitive when speaking with your S.O. about your concerns. Even autoimmune conditions like multiple sclerosis and diabetes can come with a side dish of sexual problems.

Performance anxiety. This goes beyond just "looking good" in bed. Your man can be nervous about becoming sexually active (if he was inactive for a while), have an emotion hang-up on the type of sex you and him are engaging in, etc. Luckily, counseling (either traditional therapy or couples counseling) can help them work through some of these anxieties.

Booze. Whiskey dick is a very real thing. Most men experience sexual problems while using alcohol. In fact, some research has recommended alcohol as a treatment for premature ejaculation.

Masturbation styles. If your S.O. and his right hand were tight pals before you came into the picture, it makes sense that traditional means of orgasming may be difficult for him. Thankfully, men can "reset" their baseline for sexual stimuli by refraining from masturbating for a few weeks and "retraining" their penis.

Not enough stimulation. You can early heighten stimulation by engaging in longer instances of foreplay. Engage more of your senses when you’re being intimate with each other. Talk dirty to one another, moan a bit louder, use lube, etc.

He might be afraid to ask for what he wants. Most people struggle with vocalizing what they need in bed. Your partner may be interested in exploring different fantasies, positions or even power dynamics and is just too embarrassed to ask. You can easily comfort your partner by bringing up some of your own wants and desire.

He might not want to be having sex. Our society deems men as horndogs who are always wiling to perform, when in actuality, he may be pushing himself to perform when he isn't necessarily ready.

He might not need to orgasm. Everybody's body is different! Especially when it comes to sex. He actually may feel satisfied and fulfilled even without an orgasm.