Men are funny characters, but don't mention that when you're in the bedroom together. When the two of you are having sex, it's best to just let him feel as cool as he thinks he is. This is mainly because there is a hell of a lot more going on in a guy's head than we sometimes give them credit for. Sure, on the surface, he seems cool as hell. But deep down, there are gears turning that you didn't eve know were in him. The next time you get it on, maybe keep your eyes peeled for things he may or may not be thinking. Keep reading to find out about the things he hopes you don't notice during sex.
That he’s nervous. Manly and tough though he may try to play himself off, this guy of yours is not always as confident as he seems. He’s stressing, over-thinking everything, and anticipating all of the ways he might mess up. There’s confidence, but it’s really more of a mask than anything else.
That he’s not a skilled manscaper. Yes, he’s aware that it’s nice to be well-groomed, and he tries as best as he can. But working around all of the crevices and corners that are his groin is not easy. It’s not even remotely easy. So, hopefully you don’t notice how half-a**ed it all is.
How awkwardly he opens/puts on a condom. First of all, he hates this goddamn thing. Every guy hates condoms. They’re helpful, but they’re also pleasure-suckers. With that being said, condoms also aren’t the easiest products to work with. They’re a pain in the butt, but really, they’re a pain on the- well, you know.
How the condom makes his penis look smaller. God, as if condoms couldn’t get any worse… Wrapping a penis in a condom is not an especially sexy look. It’s essentially shrinkwrap that makes his penis look like the translucent equivalent of the Rubber Man from “American Horror Story.” Except, without arms and legs. Which is even more horrifying than the character himself.
When he’s checking himself out. If there’s even the slightest hint of a reflection in the room (we’re looking at you, TV), then he’s going to catch a glimpse to see what he looks like. Having sex is something he’s been looking forward to ever since he was a wee lad, so getting the chance to see what it looks like when he’s doing it is just icing on the cake.
When he moans awkwardly. Yes, sex can sound weird. Whether it’s the release of air or a guttural moan, noises reveal themselves in the strangest ways when people get naked together. However, even though it’s normal, he’s still terrified that you’ll hear one of the moans he’ll inevitably give off when he you touch him particular areas.
His face when he’s orgasming. He forgets the fact that he’s tried so hard to look cool this far along. He’s about to come, and as a result, his body is going to essentially shut down. You’re going to see some facial movements that he’d really rather you’d never (ever, ever) notice.
The fact that he hasn’t worked out in a while. At this point, yes, he’s aware that you’re attracted to him. In some way or another, at least. But this isn’t stopping him from feeling a little insecure about how his body looks. He wants to impress you, even if he doesn’t make that seem entirely clear.
His breath. Yes, he brushes his teeth. But dammit if his breath doesn’t always have that stubborn odor that just refuses to leave. Depending on the positions the two of you go with, he may be in the clear. But that’s not going to be the case. It’s never the case.
The smell of his sweaty balls. Yes, people, sweaty balls have a smell. But can’t we just pretend that it’s a beautiful, natural smell? Like… since sex is the basis of love, then maybe the smell of sweaty balls is the true scent of love? Yeah? No? No.
How much smaller his penis is than your last partner. It’s not that he thinks he has a small penis. It’s just that he knows you’ve obviously been with guys other than himself, and it’s got him wondering just what you’ll think the first time you sneak a gander. He’s more afraid of the low expectations and whatnot.
That he’s really, really excited. Even when he’s talking low and trying to act smooth, that doesn’t change the fact that he’s as giddy as a kid in a candy shop. He’s ecstatic. You’ll just probably never know that because he’s doing the best that he can to hide it.
That he has a charlie horse, but is trying to ride it out. Sex is all about the pleasure, but that doesn’t mean it’s running short on potential pain. If he gets a charlie horse or a cramp, you’re likely never going to know. First of all, he doesn’t want you to think he can’t handle a little pain, and secondly — he doesn’t want to kill the mood.
How hairy is butt is. Yes, he’s got a hairy butt. No, he’s not going to trim it. Sure, some people do, and that’s great for them. But he doesn’t want to. On that same note, however, he also doesn’t want you to see it. He’s really throwing himself into double-edged swords more often than he probably needs to…
How quickly it takes him to orgasm. As good as an orgasm feels, he obviously wants to at least give off the impression that he can last longer than his masturbation sessions last. So, even though he’s really giving you the best that he can, there’s a lot of pain and mental battling going on while he tries his damndest to not orgasm for as long as he can hold it.
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