Drake. Remember that thing that Chance the Rapper likes? Apparently Drake likes the opposite: "He was laying there on the bed with his leg spread open and my face in his butt and his legs shaking,” wrote an anonymous poster on Media Takeout, adding " His d*** is not really big, but it's THICK. I must have [climaxed] like three times while he was doing it. One after the other, after the other. I have had my box eaten hundreds of times, but no one has EVER done it like Drake. He has a real talent. His tongue went from p**** to butt, back to p****.”
Harry Styles. Apparently Harry Styles from One Direction is kind of gentleman too, and not gay according to this Redditor. "I ended up in his suite. We had great conversations, good sex, and excellent champagne, at which point he needed to leave for some facet of his job, so I headed out of the hotel outside past the mob of fans. It was a really bizarre experience, and ultimately I feel bad for him after witnessing all the smoke and mirrors that went into a casual afternoon. He seemed like a good guy, and I hope he's doing well, but I have no desire for a repeat.” For those wondering, she added, "He had a slightly larger than average (in my experience, which honestly isn't vast) dick. It wasn't covered in glitter and it didn't smell like sunflowers, just a pretty normal penis that he put to pretty good use."
Jessica Simpson. You’ve heard of being face palmed but have you heard of being “sex palmed?” Well, sexual napalm but for short, "sex palm." John Mayer has but only after getting it in with Jessica Simpson: "Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f*****' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f****** you.’” Her new fragrance will undoubtledy be called Sexpalm.”
Hootie. Whether Darius Rucker was Hootie, or a Blowfish, he’s apparently also a fine sex partner. "She said he was a fantastic lay, a perfect gentleman, and even sang to her in the morning as he made her breakfast. On the way out he thanked her for being a good host and said she had a lovely house.”
Jack White. You’d think Jack White would be a decent sexual partner but giving a lover signed memorabilia items is incredibly creepy, especially if his wife/sister is anywhere around. “I used to be friends with someone who slept with Jack White. She said she had a good time and he gave her some signed memorabilia items. It sounds like he was nice to her.”
Usher. According to this poster, we’ve found the only gentleman celebrity that exists when it comes to sexy time - Usher. “Back in like middle school (so 2003-4ish) my friend’s mom slept with Usher. I guess he was genuinely a nice dude, bought her champagne, dinner; he even paid for her cab ride home. We were kids so obviously she didn’t say how the sex was, but it made me think he wasn’t a total jerk at least.”
Will.I.Am. This individual felt pretty special to have gotten one of Will.I.Am’s humps but then he did an interview that made it clear she was only one used condom out of a whole box of them. “Friend of mine slept with Will I Am from the black eyed peas. She wouldn’t shut up about it for months. I was reading a Rolling Stone interview with the group and the interviewer asked something like ‘I heard you were at the Sundance film festival this year, what did you guys do while you were there?’ The response was comical: ‘Bought several boxes of condoms and used every single one.’ we stopped hearing about her trophy sex after that.”
Chance The Rapper. Another anonymous confession. “Chance the Rapper hooked up with my girlfriend. He was nice to her because he was trying to get her in bed but he was a dick to everyone else who was there. He was obsessed with eating her butt hole.”
Jared Leto. This poster had sex with Jared Leto, but it was the Jared Leto who sings in 30 Seconds To Mars and thinks he’s god which is much different from dope fiend Jared Leto or even Joker Jared Leto. Apparently, he made a good impression. "I slept with Jared Leto on 30stm’ s last tour. It hasn’t changed my perception at all. I still think he’s a f***ing god. Yes, it’s f***ing huge. It was definitely some of the roughest I’ve had. Lots of hair pulling, choking, slapping, etc. (I had been pretty vanilla before then, but this opened up a whole new world to me).”
Calvin Harris. Calvin Harris doesn’t just do turntable tricks, but penis tricks as well. "One of my good girlfriends slept with Calvin Harris. He still sends her text videos of him helicoptering his horse c*** in the mirror.”
Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne sounds like a real gentleman according to this confession. “One of my ex girlfriend's roommates slept with Lil Wayne back in college after a show in D.C. When he had finished, he threw a hundred dollar bill at her and kicked her off the tour bus.”
It’s too late to say sorry. This poster who goes by the name Molly Moon got an elusive piece of the Beibs. Apparently, Beiber likes to let the crew get a piece too. That’s weird Beibs. “Summer of 2013 my friends and I met Justin Bieber at Muzik Nightclub in Toronto. One of my friends ended up leaving with Justin and his boys to go back to The Hazelton (hotel). She ended up sleeping with Justin and and multiple boys from his crew. There was like five girls there and they made them all sign contracts and took away their cellphones. He referred to himself as JB and made everyone sit around and listen to him sing for like an hour while he continuously smoked a s*** ton of weed. Too funny.”
Your body is a towel. John Mayer doesn’t seem like he treats most women’s bodies like wonderlands, more like stray socks according to this Redditor: “A girl I knew in college 'slept' with John Mayer after the Concert for Virginia Tech. I say 'slept' because he had her lie on the bed, then he jacked off on her. Then he just left.”
Anonymous Actor. This anonymous confessor says she was waitressing at a restaurant when this married celeb came in and started to hit on her right away. Since we don’t know his name, let’s just call him Mr. Smith. " We started making out, but I told him I couldn't knowing he had a wife at home. He jumped up, explaining that they had an open relationship and that if I didn't believe him, he would call her so she could confirm their arrangement. I should have let him, but I instinctively screamed no! When I told him he had to leave, he fell to the floor begging and wrapped his arms around my legs! I had to drag him along like a little kid who didn’t want his parents to leave, but I eventually managed to get him out.”
LMAFO. One can't help but wonder if Salt N Peppa were the same way. "Haha. A girl in my city f***ed LMFAO… yes both of them. LMFAO are uncle and nephew. She said she woke up with a free t-shirt and they had paid for her breakfast."
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