Is Bad Sex Reason Enough For A Breakup?

Is the sex so bad for you that you're contemplating breaking up with your partner? If so, you're probably wondering if this is a legitimate reason to end a relationship, break someone's heart, and ruin that someone's day. It seems like it's such a superficial reason to call it quits, but bad sex influences a number of people to consider it. Fortunately, being bad in bed is something that can be worked on and possibly solved. So is bad sex a legitimate reason to dump someone? Well, keep reading to judge for yourself!Have you ever dumped someone because he/she was bad in bed? Let us know in the comments section below.

Problem solving. Okay. The sex isn't great … or good. So it's terrible! Before you jump to conclusions and decide to dump your partner, ask yourself a few questions: Is the problem fixable? Is the relationship worth the effort? Could it hurt to try and talk about the bad sex? If you've answered "No" to any of these, go ahead and dump them.

"Good on paper, bad in bed." It's a conundrum that's plagued relationships from the very beginning, really. It could happen to you! But it doesn't mean the end of the relationship.

Figure it out. So what went wrong? Is the chemistry in bed just off? Have you talked to your partner about it? If not, you can only blame yourself.

Sexologist. Dawn Michael, Ph. D., is a sexologist that believes open communication about such a situation is needed to help fix it. "It's each person's responsibility to show the other what turns them on."

On the other hand… You might be giving directions like a conductor does with a symphony, but your partner is still playing a different tune. This means there's a lack of sexual compatibility, which can fade after the initial phase of the relationship. It's something that needs to be worked on, according to psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.

Non-verbal. "Sex is a non-verbal form of communication," Tessina says. Since you're usually not talking too much during the act, you need to set aside time to talk about sex with your partner.

"We need to talk…" Don't have one of those talks that starts off that way. It never ends well, and begins very poorly, too. A normal, casual conversation between two people that are trying to make it work is healthy for the relationship.

Ask. Here's a tip from Tessina: "Ask some questions about how your partner feels, and what he wants in bed." This will most likely help your partner ask you the same question, and then the conversation moves forward to progress.

Be careful. Don't be insensitive about the problem. After all, telling someone they're bad in bed is not something anyone wants to hear. Be aware of physical and/or emotional issues your partner may be experiencing - or at least be ready to find out about them.

Sexual tension. Now that the hard part is over, you can start having some fun with your partner. But jumping right back into bed after the two of you opened up won't be that easy. That's why psychotherapist Kelly Kitley, L.C.S.W., advises couples to build sexual tension. This could be the main puzzle piece missing from your sex life.

Don't be foolish. "If you’re having a good time in other ways it’s foolish to overreact to a sexual problem, which could be caused by a misunderstanding or nervousness," Tessina concludes.

Bad sex could save your relationship. "If you talk about it, a session of bad sex can be the thing that sets you on a course for lifetime happiness," says Tessina.

Staying power. You know that saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," right? Well, if you're able to work through this issue, like any other relationship issue, you can strengthen your bond and have a more fulfilling relationship.

Basically … this means you should make your partner horny! "Grab your partner's butt, rub up against him, grab his balls, rub your breasts," Kitley says. "Enticing him all day will create more desire—and potentially hotter sex."

So… Is breaking up with someone due to the bad sex you're having a legitimate reason? Yes and no! Like any problems a relationship has, you have to work through it - if you believe it's worth it.