Man Says Dating Men Who Are HIV Positive Is What He Prefers – Here’s Why

After spending years in a heterosexual relationship, one man opens up about his first encounter with a man in several years. He says his first experience led to bursting into tears on the private parts of the man who openly admitted to him that he was HIV positive. The tear-jerking experience led him on a journey to find out more about the disease and ultimately his preference for dating those afflicted with it.

HIV Understanding. Living as a gay man in a heterosexual relationship for years, one man shares his journey back to relationships with men and gaining an understanding of the HIV dangers that came with it.

The Hiatus. After several years in a relationship with a woman - whom, to be clear, he reassures he was madly in love with as a person - Cole Grissom found himself single again. As a gay man who had known he was gay since early teen years, he ventured back into the dating scene as a gay man.

The First Experience. Grissom says his first intimate experience left him bursting into tears on the private parts of his newest date. His date had informed him he was HIV positive just before things got intimate, and Grissom burst into tears on him. Literally ON him.

HIV Positive. After his first encounter, Grissom says he was mortified. First because of his reaction, and second because he realized how little he knew of what it meant to be HIV positive.

The Ignorance. Grissom says he was ignorant and full of fear. The biggest fear to him was contracting the disease from someone who was HIV positive because that's what he knew of the disease.

Philadelphia. He admits to knowing nothing of the disease as it turns out. "The little I knew about HIV came from watching 'Philadelphia' - which, to be fair, was really about AIDS - so my knowledge base was hovering somewhere below ignorant," Grissom said.

Get Informed. Grissom made the decision to do more research and better understand the disease after his embarrassing encounter. "In an effort to avoid crying on more d***s, I decided to do some digging," Grissom said.

Dating With HIV. Grissom says what he learned after his research led him to change his mind on the subject entirely. He says his research helped him to see that dating a man who is HIV positive - and is responsibly taking treatments - was the safest choice of all for him.

A Preference for HIV Dating. According to Grissom, his research showed that dating a man with HIV was not only safe, but was actually safer than dating someone who wasn't HIV positive.

The Reasoning. Grissom researched many studies and medical journals in his efforts to understand HIV infections and was surprised to find that those who are living with an HIV diagnosis and receiving proper treatment, were not able to transmit the disease to their sexual partners.

The Study. According to the Cetre for Health and Infectious Disease Research in Switzerland's Copenhagen University Hospital, those who have been diagnosed with HIV and taking their prescribed treatments do not transmit HIV to others. Jens Lundgren, the Director for the Centre stated, "we found that despite studying more than 50,000 (condomless sexual encounters), none of the partners contracted from each other - there was no risk."

Fear. Grissom says he became more and more convinced that dating someone with an HIV diagnosis was the way to go for him the more he learned about the situation. "The more I discovered, the more confident I became in my preference," Grissom said.

Knowledge Is Key. At the basis of his new beliefs, Grissom says people who are HIV positive are safer because they already know their condition and as long as they are seeking proper treatment, are no danger in passing it on to others sexually - even unprotected.

The Test. People fear catching HIV and that is what drives their fear of dating someone with HIV, according to Grissom. He says that in his studies, however, the greatest fear should be in dating someone who is not tested or not positive because they could be carriers without knowing it. Those who have the disease and are untreated, are the real danger. "The risk of contracting isn't from those who are living with the virus and taking their medication as presribed, it's from those who are unsure of their status," Grissom says.

No More Crying Over D***s. Grissom says ultimately, his research has helped him to ensure he'll never again burst into tears on another man's d*** out of fear. He urges everyone to get tested and tested regularly and to lose the fear of a positive result.